People travel for many different reasons: to get refreshed and inspired, to take a step back from their current life, to put an end to the past and start anew. To us, it’s to be built — to be overcoming.
This October we went as a church to Acadia National Park in Maine. The scenery was breathtaking, the weather was just right — everything was perfect. It was a nine-day trip with four days on the road, and not a single day was dull. Looking back, the trip was not just an enjoyable vacation but made meaningful because of the people we went with and a corporate recognition of our common goal in being together.
On a church trip like ours, every aspect needs everyone’s involvement and engagement — someone cooking, someone setting up the living space for family time, someone searching for the appropriate hiking trails, someone speaking an honest word to you. Whether in our daily life or on a trip, I found that what makes my life precious is that “churching” is always involved in my interactions, and I am an active and contributing part of it. Not only do I have a portion to offer, but everyone does, no matter big or small. But what does that portion look like? When a sister asked me what serving means in those practical moments, it struck me: is serving just about being nice, humble, caring, diligent and taking care of those practicalities?
There was a moment during the trip when a sister found she didn’t bring enough ingredients for her cooking and wanted to borrow some from me. Although I didn’t say it outwardly, I was reluctant to help her, thinking I might not have enough to share. An older sister willingly and joyfully brought in whatever she asked for and told her to use as much as she wanted. That sister might not be aware of what that action meant to me, but it was like a mirror in me showing me who I am, humbling me and reminding me: “Am I keeping my portion whole to myself and standing by, or am I in His house rolling up my sleeves to be part of it?”
Serving is definitely not about being nice, humble, caring, diligent or any moral virtue; neither is it about caring for the physical things I just mentioned. But what does it mean to me? I always put myself outside of the serving category and thought serving required some “qualifications,” or that at least you need to have a capability for doing things, be a “leader” type of person, or be a “spiritual giant.” I thought, “I am neither capable nor a spiritual leader.”
These days I am seeing something new in my old way of thinking. Did I insist on a concept of serving, which made me deaf to the Lord’s speaking? I was just like Moses in Exodus chapters three and four: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” “…what shall I say to them?” “What if they do not believe me or listen to my voice…?” “…I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.” And finally, “Please, Lord, send word through someone else whom You will send.” (3:11, 3:13, 4:1, 4:10, 4:13) Like Moses, weren’t those my “concerns,” as well? But is serving the Lord about me and my capability? How can I serve the Lord if I keep looking at myself? In that moment of encountering a sister in need of cooking ingredients, if I insist my portion is small and hold onto it, how can I offer my portion to You? Lord, take away my blindness and foolishness; bring me deeper and closer to Your speaking. I want to hear You and know You.
On our way back home, I re-engaged with one of our previous church literature articles: Humanity & Ministry: II. Serving with divinity and humanity. Although it was an older piece of writing from last year, when I read it again this time, it felt new to me. As we drove, I read it out loud, “…God’s propagation requires a transformed, tangible humanity on the earth. The book of Acts began with Christ’s ascension, which also initiated His heavenly ministry being carried out on the earth by a group of believers. No matter where they are, what they do, or who they are with, this group of people outlives Christ and they are sensitive to hear, interpret, and be ‘ministerized’ by the Word and the Spirit.”
When I finished reading, I was strengthened and assured of this life. Lord, I offer myself to live out this beautiful life for the ministry with the body — with my family, with Your church. I am serving You with all my portion; may You receive. The Maine trip ended; yet, at the same time, a new journey started. Lord, help me remember this moment of being strengthened and being near to You so that I can always turn, look upon You, and serve You with all that I have.
– CC